The mediation process begins either with a court order or request by the parties. In some circuits, the parties must attempt to use mediation to settle issues before a trial can be set. The court may not refer parties to mediation if there is a significant history of spouse abuse or domestic violence that would affect the mediation process.

The mediator, as a neutral and objective participant, plays an active role in the mediation process by assisting individuals affected by the outcome and their attorneys in reaching a settlement.

The mediator's purpose is to help identify issues, develop bargaining proposals, and conduct negotiations with the goal of coming to a settlement that meets the family's needs. The mediator clarifies and organizes details, prompts discussion and cooperative communication, and manages conflict.

The parties do not have to reach an agreement on all issues. They may settle some issues and submit others to the court for resolution.

The mediator DOES NOT make any decisions for the parties but helps with the parties' own decision-making processes. After agreement has been reached, the mediator will draft a memorandum of understanding to be reviewed and approved by the parties and their attorneys.